My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
