like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
