Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
