The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
