omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
