Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
