Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
