So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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