Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize