I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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