he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
