i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
