I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
