Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
