So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
