i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize