Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Randomize
