Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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