You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
