I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
