Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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