He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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