I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
