he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
