Screwed.edu
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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