Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
