Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
