Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
