I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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