shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
