K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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