Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
