Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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