1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Randomize
