she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
