If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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