is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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