I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
