Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Less talking, more tequila
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I believe in your delicious
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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