i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
