David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
In America we eat man semen.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
