I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize