I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Houston, we have a squirter
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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