first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm just crazy horny about you
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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