Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
