Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
and she was petting her beer can
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
