So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
