the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
