She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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