i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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