Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
