i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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