people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
