It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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