Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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