Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
