I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
is wine microwaveable?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Randomize
