That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
