Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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