You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Farmville is her only friend.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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