The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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