Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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