Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
