Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
