I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
