hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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