He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
