She's JV to your varsity
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
