so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
