If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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