Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
