There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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